The Wily Python Show

FADE IN:

INt. - WHITE BEDROOM

We open on a CLOSE UP of an assortment of butterflies. The patterns on their wings - solid blue, speckled yellow, monarch - flutter through the shot. The face of a human emerges and gazes intently at the butterflies. The person is a male, about forty, but young for its age. The face is well-groomed and very clean, but seems to lack emotion. We also notice the face's paleness. This is REUBEN (PHILLIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN). There is another figure in the background but we cannot make out what it looks like at first because the background is in soft focus.

REUBEN blinks twice and smiles weakly. The background comes into focus and we can see the other man's face. The second man is older, early fifties, and wears a beard and spectacles. The second man is not looking at the butterflies and is instead focused on something that he is holding in his hands, something we can't see. This is DR. DALINGER (BOB BALABAN).

DR. DALINGER

So, Reuben, how are you feeling today?

DR. DALINGER looks up at REUBEN. REUBEN'S smile disappears. We cut away from the butterflies CLOSE UP to reveal the entire room. It is a spacious, sterile-looking room. The dominant color is white. There are few objects in the room. REUBEN sits at a table where the butterflies are flying outside their cage. DR. DALINGER is sitting on a chair near REUBEN'S bed carrying a clipboard.

REUBEN

You're a new one.

DR. DALINGER

I know that, Reuben. I'm your new doctor. I'm certain that your old doctor told you about his being replaced.

REUBEN

(after a pause)

Yes.

DR. DALINGER nods. He looks down at his clipboard.

DR. DALINGER

Yes, so, how are you feeling?

REUBEN doesn't respond. He continues to study the butterflies and smiles again.

DR. DALINGER looks up at REUBEN.

DR. DALINGER (cont'd)

Are you going to talk to me?

REUBEN

Look at them. Aren't they looking great?

DR. DALINGER

Yes, yes they are. They look...very nice.

REUBEN turns his head to look at DR. DALINGER for the first time. He nods and smiles before turning back to the butterflies.

DR. DALINGER (cont'd)

Do they make you feel happy, because they look so good today?

REUBEN lets out a breath.

DR. DALINGER (cont'd)

Reuben -

REUBEN

(interjecting)

I don't think there should be questions today.

DR. DALINGER

I see, Reuben.

(beat)

And why not?

REuBEN

Because it would be...unjust. For he who came before you.

INT. - INDOOR SWIMMING POOL - DAY

REUBEN swims laps using the breast stroke back and forth across the pool. He is only one in the place other than the lifeguard, who is asleep. REUBEN curiously searches the entire arena with his eyes as he swims back and forth and back and forth. He reaches the end of his laps and sits on the steps, looking about the place. He musses up his hair a bit.

INT. - PAY PHONE BANK - lATER

There are six pay phones connected to each other with sound barriers between each one that provide a minimal amount of privacy. Most of the phones are occupied with people, most of whom are being supervised by an attendant. REUBEN sits at one and has the receiver to his ear. There is no one supervising him. We hear the phone dial. After a few rings, the other end picks up.

FEMALE VOICE (o.S.)

Hello?

REUBEN doesn't say anything for a bit.

FEMALE VOICE (o.S.) (cont'd)

Come on, I have thi-

REUBEN

(into phone)

Chloe -

CHLOE (O.S.)

Hey, there you are.

REUBEN

It's Reuben. Reuben Foster.

CHLOE (O.S.)

Oh, hey Reuben. You know I know your last name, I kind of grew up with the same one.

REUBEN

Yeah, I know it.

CHLOE (O.S.)

How are you doing?

REUBEN

I'm doing - you know, I'm - I'm okay.

CHLOE (o.S.)

Well that's good to hear. What did you call about?

REUBEN

Just wanted to talk to you, see what you're up to.

CHLOE (O.S.)

Oh yeah, well, I'm doing well. Work's been pretty good. I just joined a book club so that should be fun. We're reading A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole - Louis and I are going to a party this weekend...so, you know...

REUBEN says nothing in response.

CHLOE (O.S.) (cont'd)

What about you?

REUBEN

Me?

CHLOE (O.S.)

Yeah, what have you been up to.

REUbEN (O.S.)

Oh, uh, well - I went swimming earlier today. And before that I was watching my butterflies, observing...

REUBEN bites his lip and begins to shake his head slowly.

CHLOE (O.S.)

Oh...

REUBEN

I have to go now. Goodbye.

REUBEN hangs up the phone quickly.

INT. - CHLOE'S kITCHEN - CoNTINUOUS

CHLOE (ALLISON JANNEY)

(into phone)

Reuben? Reuben?

There is no one there. She sets down the receiver. In the background her husband, LOUIS (RICKY GERVAIS), is putting away groceries.

ChLOE (cont'd)

Huh.

LOUIS

Who was that, honey?

CHLOE

Uh - it was Reuben.

LOUIS

Oh, how is he doing then?

CHLOE

He's doing fine, I think. He sounded strange at the end - his breathing, I don't know.

INT. - DIMLY-LIT EATERY

REUBEN and two older gentleman, NORMAN (MICHAEL PALIN) and FORBES (JOHN CLEESE),  - they look to be in their sixties or seventies - sit around a table covered in white cloth. The each have a plate of food and utensils and a glass of red wine in front of them. Each man has a different sort of fish on his plate. REUBEN has salmon, NORMAN has swordfish, and FORBES has halibut. They each have a side of risotto. NORMAN and FORBES are dressed in fine old suits and REUBEN is dressed casually. We cannot see FORBES very well as he has his face in a newspaper. NORMAN is sitting next to REUBEN polishing his monocle.   

NORMAN

...of course when I was in the army, thing were much different, anyway. But I digress. So much so that I'm afraid I have forgotten what it was I was talking about...

REUBEN

The Amazon -

NORMAN

Ah yes, right, the Amazon - the insects - did I talk about them? The insects there are huge! Hornets the size of your fist! Butter -

FORBES lowers his newspaper and folds it up, he is obviously done with it.

FORBES

(interrupting)

The bloody Nasdaq's down again.

FORBES takes some bites of halibut. NORMAN looks annoyed. He puts his monocle back on.

NORMAN

What are you on about? I was talking to Reuben...I was talking about the Amazon.

FORBES

Yes, well I thought I'd bring up a subject that people are actually interested in.

REUBEn

I was interested about the Amazon.

FORBES

Well that's because you're young and foolish - you know the suit I'm wearing right now is older than you?

There is an awkward silence. NORMAN bitterly grabs the newspaper from FORBES and begins to unfold it. FORBES continues to eat his halibut. REUBEN pushes salmon around his plate.

REUBEN

I was thinking...of leaving.

FORBES

What?

REUBEN

Leaving...the hospital. Getting out into the real world.

NORMAN folds up the paper again and drops it to the floor.

FORBES

Well, Reuben, I think it's a splendid idea. It's about time you get out and do something productive with your life.

NoRMAN

Yes, splendid, but...why? Why do you want to leave?

REUBEN

I just - I feel like it isn't doing me any good to be in here. Like nothing is happening for me. My life - I don't know...

NORMAN

I see. I suppose that's reason enough.

REUBEN

Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.

FORBES goes back to his paper. REUBEN pokes at his salmon.

INt. - WHITE BEDROOM - THE NEXT DAY

REUBEN sits on his bed, bouncing a yellow tennis ball up and down, up and down, up and down. He watches his butterflies out of the corner of his eye. After a bit he catches the ball and stops. He sets the ball on his night stand and gets up to walk over to the table. At the table he makes himself a salmon sandwich. He sits back down on his bed with the salmon sandwich and eats it contentedly. As he finishes the sandwich, the door to his room opens and in walks DR. DALINGER.  

DR. DALINGER

Hello Reuben.

DR. DALINGER writes something on his clipboard as he sits at the table.

DR. DALINGER (cont'd)

Are we going to talk today?

REUBEN looks away from DR. DALINGER and at his butterflies.

DR. DALINGER (cont'd)

Come on, Reuben. Don't play these games. You're going to have to open up sometime. Don't you want to get better.

REUBEN stands.

Reuben

Doctor?

DR. DALINGER

Yes?

REUBEN

Come with me.

REUBEN begins to exit the room.

DR. DALINGER

Wha - where are you -

INT. - HOSPITAL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

REUBEN exits the room followed by DR. DALINGER.

DR. DALINGER

Reuben, where are you going?

REUBEN ignores him and continues to walk down the long hallway.

DR. DALINGER (cont'd)

You know you're supposed to get any changes of our treatment location okayed by me? Please, REUBEN -

REUBEN doesn't respond.

INT. - FRONT DESK OF PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - A SHORT TIME LATER

REUBEN reaches the front desk followed by DR. DALINGER.

DR. DALINGER

Reuben, you have to stop this. Now.

REUBEN addresses the pretty young girl attending the front desk.

REUBEN

I would like to sign out, please.

SECRETARY

Sign out?

REUBEN

Yes, I'd like to sign out of the hospital.

The SECRETARY begins to access the computer.

SECRETARY

Your name?

DR. DALINGER

Is this what you're planning on doing, Reuben? Is this because I'm your new doctor? Are you just trying to get away from me?

REUBEN

Reuben Foster.

REUBEN turns to the doctor.

REUBEN (cont'd)

And no, it's not. I've had new doctors before. You're okay, I like you.

DR. DALINGER

Well whatever it is, you can't just do this. You can't just run away -

The SECRETARY has accessed REUBEN'S file.

SECRETARY

Actually, he can. It says here that's he's voluntarily checked in and can sign out whenever he wants.

REUBEN smiles at the SECRETARY. DR. DALINGER looks exasperated.

DR. DALINGER

(to the secretary)

Look, I want you to call Dr. Saibel. Get him down here. Someone of authority needs to deal with this.

SECRETARY

Okay, but he's going to tell you the same thing that I already have -

DR. DaLINGER

Just shut up and get him down here.

SECRETARY

All right.

The secretary picks up the phone and begins to summon DR. SAIBEL.

REUBEN

It should be understood by you that I'm not leaving because of you or because of anything you did that was unjust. I just - it's just time for me to leave.

DR. DALINGER

Reuben, you are ill. You must get better.

REUBEN

I've been here longer than I know. Maybe you can't make me better. Should that be the truth, you want me to waste my life in here?

DR. DALINGER

It's not a waste, Reuben. You must understand that.

REUBEN shakes his head.

REUBEN

I have decided my decision.

DR. SAIBEL approaches from the hallway.

DR. SAIBEL

Ah, Reuben Foster, yes...

DR. DALINGER

I don't think he's ready to go. I need more time -

Dr. SAIBEL

Unfortunately for you, it does not matter what you think. Mr. Foster is mentally ill but he has absolutely no history of violent or even aggressive behavior. He is voluntarily checked into this hospital and so it is completely his decision -

REUBEN

And I've made my decision.

DR. SAIBEL

Yes...yes, you have. Why don't you go back to your room and pack up your things, I'll contact your sister to see if she's available to pick you up, all right?

REUBEN

Sir yes sir!

REUBEN marches off. DR. DALINGER sulks.

INT. - WHITE BEDROOM - LATER

REUBEN is finishing his packing of his second of two tan suitcases. After he closes the case, he walks over to his butterflies and fans them all into a cage. He nestles the cage under his armpit before firmly gripping the handles of each suitcase with each of his hands. With all his things in hand, he exits his white bedroom.

INT. - HOSPITAL HALLWAY - contINUOUS

REUBEN slowly paces down the hallway. He's breathing gradually increases. He stops for a bit to lean on the wall and catch his breath. He sniffs and wipes a tear from his eye. Then he turns and continues walking.

INT. - FRONT DESK OF PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL - A FEW MINUTES LATER

REUBEN arrives at the front desk. CHLOE and LOUIS sit on a couch adjacent to the front desk. LOUIS is holding a gift-wrapped present. CHLOE and LOUIS stand when they see REUBEN.

CHLOE

Reuben...

CHLOE hugs REUBEN. REUBEN puts his things down during the hug.

REUBEn

Hi.

CHLOE

I want you to know that we support you in this.

LOUIS

Yeah...

REUBEN sees the present LOUIS is clutching.

REUBEN

Oh! It's my birthday...

LOUIS

I thought I'd get you a little something, a welcome back gift or what have you.

LOUIS hands REUBEN the gift. REUBEN unwraps it. It's a box. REUBEN excitedly opens the box. It's a banjo. He looks at it, a bit puzzled. LOUIS smiles broadly.

LOUIS (cont'd)

It's a banjo!

REUBEN holds it up to his ear and shakes it a bit. He lowers it a begins to pluck individual strings. The fourth string that he plucks snaps and cuts him in the cheek. REUBEN's mouth opens as if to scream in pain but no sound comes out. He holds his hand up to his cheek, which is bleeding slightly.

CHLOE

Oh!

LOUIS frowns.

LOUIS

Oh, Reuben, I'm sorry! I don't know what...

CHLOE gets a napkin from her purse. LOUIS holds the banjo for REUBEN.

REUBEN

Unjust.

CHLOE pats REUBEN'S cheek with a napkin.

LOUIS

I'm terribly embarrassed about this, Reuben. I truly am very sorry.

CHloe

Come on, let's get you home.

LOUIS

...no idea that was going to happen.

EXT. - LOUIS AND CHLOE'S SUBURBAN HOME - DAY

Exterior shot of LOUIS and CHLOE'S good-looking house with it's well-manicured lawn. LOUIS and CHLOE'S gray Volvo station wagon pulls up the driveway.

INT. - KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM - LATER

REUBEN and LOUIS sit on the living room couch. LOUIS is paging through a magazine. REUBEN has his hands in his lap. The kitchen is attached to the living room. It is surrounded by a counter that separates it. Part of the counter makes it difficult to see CHLOE, who is fixing sandwiches.

CHLOE

You still like tuna? Don't you Reuben?

REUBEN

I do enjoy a good tuna sandwich.

CHLOE

How are you feeling, Reuben?

REUBEN

I'm feeling fine, just fine.

CHLOE

I think it's great, Reuben, that you're...giving this a go - I don't think that place was doing you any good anyhow.

REUBEN nods. There is a short silence.

REUBEN

I was thinking that a job is something I should start looking for.

Quiet. We cannot see CHLOE or hear her making sandwiches.

CHLOE

(sounding almost relieved)

That's great, Reuben! Fantastic!

We can hear CHLOE making sandwiches again. LOUIS looks up from his magazine.

LOUIS

I wouldn't rush into anything to quickly - I mean you did just got your freedom back.

CHLOE

(somewhat annoyed)

I think it's great that he's being so proactive.

REUBEN

(to Louis)

Yeah, it's great that I'm being proactive.

LOUIS puts down his magazine.

LOUIS

I'm just saying that maybe you don't have to jump into anything, that's all.

CHLOE enters the living room carrying a tray.

CHLOE

Reuben would you like some sandwiches?

INT. - LOUIS' HOME OFFICE

LOUIS leads REUBEN into the cluttered room. REUBEN is carrying his two suitcases and plastic butterfly cage. LOUIS nervously scurries about the room as he speaks, picking up his personal effects and tidying up.

LOUIS

So this was - this was my office - but it turns out that I don't actually need it too much any way, so, uh, you'll just use it then...for your room.

(gesturing)

We set out a futon there, so you can use that, then.

REUBEN sets his suitcases down and sits on the futon, clutching his butterflies close.

LOUIS (cont'd)

I'll just make sure I have everything I left sitting around in here so you'll have...full use...of the space. The vicinity.

LOUIS picks up his last few things.

LOUIS (cont'd)

Otherwise, you know, just make yourself at home. Do what you want to do. Be 'free'...whatever...and just, uh, enjoy yourself.

LOUIS smiles. REUBEN looks up.

LOUIS (cont'd)

All right then. I'll just...get out of your hair.

LOUIS leaves the room. REUBEN turns over on his side and opens the cage. The butterflies float out. REUBEN watches them flutter about.

INT. - OFFICE - DAY

The office is a sterile, uninteresting affair. It is primarily composed of the wooden and the white, with occasional stainless steel touches. REUBEN  and CHLOE sit on chairs in front of the desk. Behind the desk is SAM DUNCAN (RAINN WILSON) who is looking through a sepia folder. When he talks, he does not look up but is clearly facing CHLOE and not REUBEN.

SAM

And so I see here that...he has exhibited no violent behavior and very little disruptive behavior whatsoever...

CHLOE

Yes...he is not going to be a prob-

SAM looks up from the file.

SAM

Poor communication skills?

CHLOE looks over at REUBEN, who looks away.

CHLOE

...he, uh, doesn't talk very much.

SAM

Will I be able to give him orders and he follow them? Because that is very important to this job.

CHLOE

Yes, his difficulties more involve social relationships - friendships and that sort of thing.

SAM

Ah, so it's actually sort of a positive for my purposes...I see...

CHLOE looks down and then over at REUBEN. She looks back to SAM. Their eyes meet.

CHLOE

He will follow instructions just fine, yes.

SAM

Yes, good.

SAM closes the folder and looks at REUBEN for the first time.

SAM (cont'd)

I want you to know that I will be holding you in this store and out of it to Ralph's standard of excellence in service. Do not expect to be coddled, you won't be. Do not expect for me to cut you slack, I will not, repeat, will not. In order to maintain your standing with me and your position at Ralph's you must be prompt, punctual and obedient at all times. Do not think that I will hesitate to fire you because I feel sorry for you. I do not feel sorry for you. Finally, you must always - ALWAYS - be respectful of and helpful to the customer. I expect nothing less than the best behavior around our patrons. That means smile and be ready to go to the moon for them. Do you understand? 

REUBEN nods. SAM looks at CHLOE.

SAM (cont'd)

I'm going to need to hear an actual affirmative.

REUBEN

Yes. I understand.

SAM nods.

SAM

Good.

SAM stands. CHLOE follows suit and pulls REUBEN up from his seat. SAM shakes CHLOE'S hand.

SAM (cont'd)

Congratulations, Reuben has the job.

REUBEN smiles slightly and offers his hand. SAM reluctantly shakes it.

SAM (cont'd)

Training is Monday morning and work will start the same week.

CHLOE

Thank you Mr...

SAM

Duncan. Sam Duncan.

(to CHLOE)

You can call me Sam.

SAM smiles.

CHlOE

Right, Sam. Reuben will be there Monday morning. Thanks again.

SAM sits down.

SAM

You're very welcome.

SAM goes back to work at his desk. REUBEN seems to want to say more by SAM does not look up.

REUBEN

Well, goodbye.

SAM nods. REUBEN and CHLOE leave.

SUPERIMPOSED: ONE MONTH LATER

INT. - RALPH'S GROCERY STORE CHECKOUT LINE - EVENING

REUBEN busily bags groceries at a crowded checkout line. A light muzak version of "Mr. Sandman" plays in the background of the store. Perspiration is beaded on REUBEN'S brow. After bagging three or four customer's items, he sees that the next people in line are NORMAN and FORBES, dressed in their full upscale attire. FORBES has a newspaper folded under his left arm pit.

REUBEn

Norman! Forbes!

NORMAN

'Ello Reuben! It's been far far far too long!

NORMAN gives REUBEN a hug.

FORBES

There you are, Reuben. There you are.

FORBES shakes REUBEN'S hand.

NorMAN

Well Reuben, don't stay quiet, how are you feeling, old chap?

REUBEN

Not bad, not bad. Are good tidings and good health finding you two all right?

FORBEs

Well boy, just yesterday I cracked my monocle and that was quite the boggle! Haven't been without my monocle for this long since the Thatcher years, I daresay.

NorMAN

Forbes, dear, don't bring up Maggie Thatcher, won't you, it'll put me in the most dreadful mood.

FORBES

Would you rather I mention Benjamin Disraeli? I know you had a thing for him for awhile -

NORMAn

Quiet, quiet! I want to hear from Reuben. Reuben! How did you say you were, not too bad was it?

REUBEN

Yeah, I'm doing all right, you know, I got this job and all, and I have a little place to stay right near my sister's house...

NORMAN

Sounds simply smashing if I say so myself.

FORBES

You do say so yourself!

NORMAN

I do, don't I?

FORBES

You do! But Reuben, how are you doing truly? Truly, my dear boy.

REUBEn

Well, you know, I'm doing okay, like I said. I'm feeling okay.

NORMAN

Uh-huh, yes. Well that's terribly good to hear.

FORBES

Next Page

Go To Pages-----1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9-----